My Secret

Over the course of the past two years, many folks have told me  "I don't know how you do it."  So, even though I am not one to give away family secrets, I am gonna let you in on my secret for success.  

I am the daughter of Janie Sheffield. On November 5, 1972, God saw fit to make me her daughter. She and my Daddy taught me absolutely everything I know. 

My Momma taught me how to do the right thing even when you don't want to. She taught me how to be hard headed and ask questions. She taught me how to appreciate people - all sizes, all ages, all shapes, and all colors. She taught me how to dig in my heels. She taught me what it means to work hard and play hard. She taught me that tough times don't last, but tough people do. She showed me how to love unconditionally. She didn't always like me but she ALWAYS loved me. She taught me how to tackle hard tasks by eating "that elephant one bite at a time".  She taught me how to give of my time, talents and possessions. She taught me to live life with no "what if's". 

She taught me that there is nothing wrong with crying - in fact it is healthy.  She taught me how to make it after losing someone you love dearly. She taught me a love for my family and my savior.  Because of my momma I know that everything is always gonna be ok. Because He lives, I can face Tomorrow. She also taught me that you can't ever sing that song without crying.  She taught me how to pick a man and love a man.  Momma taught me how to use my mind and hands to be creative. She taught me to measure twice and cut once. Momma taught me how to work hard and play hard.  

Momma taught me how to tough it out when times are tough and soak it in when Life is Good. Give it all you got - even when you don't like what you got. Whether it be genetic mutations, ADHD, lung transplants, or dyslexia -- my momma had me ready for whatever life brought my way. Momma taught me that I can do anything.

I am terribly sorry that you were not the lucky one chosen to be raised by this mighty woman. So here's to my Momma, who taught me how to do this life right. I love you!  

Bumbling Boomerang

You've heard of bumbling idiots...well I feel the need to set the record straight.  I am a bumbling boomerang. 

After quite a few months in blog-abstentia, here I am. (Actually during this time away, I started 9 different blogs, but never finished them. Maybe it will be good stuff for another day.) I could give you all a whole buncha great excuses as to where I have been, but it would all be just that - excuses. Truth is, while I was bumbling around in a physical, occupational and speech therapy stouper -- I got swept away by an out of control, dyslexic, ADHD, curly headed tornado. 

Focus people. I'm gonna need you to FOCUS. When the much publicized "sight word" debacle stretched from 2012 all the way into 2014,  Darby finally got all the people in her corner to realize that there was way more to her story than we knew.  After quite a few "Darby Clark Herrington Fan Club" meetings, a few diagnostic tests, and some new "focus" meds, the glorious light has come on for my curly headed tornado. She has made amazing improvements in reading and school since January and LIFE IS GOOD!  This kiddo has realized that letters form words, words form sentences, and sentences tell a story. Darby has gone from US reading her the Bible stories at bedtime, to HER reading the stories now. She is a new kid. Can I get a hallelujah?!?!?!  

Parson has gotten quite a full head of curls now as well. I guess I have to specify which curly headed tornado I am referring to nowadays.  Perhaps I should name the storms - (maybe like Maggie used to refer to my sister and me) - the big'un and the littl'un.  So, the Littl'un has kept me hopping also. She has 3 physical therapy, 2 occupational therapy, and 2 speech therapy sessions a week. (Why am I so tired if that is only 7 hours of actual therapy? ) Honestly people, I have never worked harder in my whole life.  On top of that, we have the occasional doctor visit, various tests and infusion center appointments. Parson still has developmental delays, is slow to walk, slow to talk and even slower to eat by mouth. But you know what?  She has been given the "all clear" by her doctor to get out and about and be exposed and she is loving life and ROCKIN' her new lungs!  (Afterall, we didn't get new lungs to live in a bubble.) 

While Parson was so sick, I saw something about life being like a boomerang. You get back what you send out. I have thought about that little ditty a lot in the past few months. Some circumstances lately have left me a little jaded, others have left me a lot jaded. And I have been bumbling around for the last several months in boomerang limbo. I mean, if you don't send anything out, you don't get anything back. Being completely consumed by my own two children's lives has gotten the best of me.  Exactly as it should be. I can't think of a better way to invest. 

By not "working", I have really struggled to find my worth since giving up my old day job and paycheck. It is absolutely crazy how the devil has used that on me.  I have felt like I am not sending any boomerangs out to help, when in reality I am investing in the most precious of all kids - my own. 

Please understand that I am not putting my children's business out there to belittle them in anyway. I thought sight words and oral aversion were gonna be the death of me. I know there is somebody out there in the trenches that needs some encouragement.  Right now you think what you are going through is gonna kill you - but take heart and send out your boomerang.  YOU WILL SURVIVE! Joy cometh in the morning. 

Take it from this bumbling boomerang -- You send nothing out, you are gonna get nothing back. Throw out your boomerang and invest in someone else's life. I promise it will come back to you when you need it most. 

(Photo credit: Nadia Martindale) 

Count YOUR blessings.

After getting a routine check up at the doc yesterday and waking up early for lab work and my first mammogram ever today - I feel ALIVE!  

The weather has been GREAT. All of my people are healthy. Life slowed down enough for me to take care of some overdue things on the "to do" list. And Christmas music snuck in to my house yesterday on the satellite radio. :) You know, I could easily get bogged down in the fact that Parson isn't the least bit interested in eating and still deSating at night -or that Darby is struggling with spelling and reading --but none of that matters - we are ALIVE! 

Lemme tell ya friends, there is nothing like a major healthcare crisis to put things in perspective. It gets me every time when I start to count my blessings.  Whew.  Overwhelmed. TODAY is a huge blessing and just being alive is a huge blessing. I have got air coming through my nose. My heart is beating. That is HUGE!  Are you with me? 

I watched three great internet videos recently that reminded me about perspective. One is of a mother listening to her daughters heartbeat after they chose to donate her organs after a tragic accident. She heard her daughters heart beating providing new life for another woman. Whew -that was something. The other piece was about UT football player Case McCoy overcoming a childhood filled with medical issues to become a big success on the football field. (I love a good sports story - especially the ones about overcomers.) Then there was the one of a lady about to undergo a double mastectomy - but she first invited her surgical team to join her in a dance party in the operating room. She rocked that dance party and surgery. THAT is GOOD stuff. Those people are ALIVE!  

When I count my blessings,  I become completely overwhelmed.  You oughta give it a try. Here is a little secret - count YOUR blessings, not your neighbors. When you worry about others and try to count their blessings - you get all tangled up in things that don't matter and you will come up feeling empty. Don't focus on the things you don't have or things you wish you had - Count YOUR blessings. When you start to focus on what IS and what you DO have, you realize that you are ALIVE. God blessed YOU. Your heart is beating. You have purpose. You are ALIVE. 

It is all about perspective. You can worry that you HAVE to take "all those medicines" or be thankful that you GET to take "all those medicines" -- Taking the meds means that you are still ALIVE. You can worry that you HAVE to clean up the living room AGAIN because your family made a big mess or be thankful that you have a family to clean up after. So I guess I gotta be thankful for that pink lizard that came out of the last load of laundry.  Same thing with dirty dishes, bills to pay and homework.

Deuteronomy 28:1-6

1 "And if you faithfully obey the voice of the LORD your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth.

2 And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the LORD your God.

3 Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field.

4 Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock.

5 Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.

6 Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.

"Count your many blessings name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God hath done."  ........  Your people. Your child's giggles. Your salvation. Your friends that listen.........

The dirty dishes, laundry and homework mean that you are ALIVE!!!!!!!  There is NO doubt, He has blessed you and your basket is overflowing. Let HIS blessings overtake you. 

Parson Update - 4 months out

Parson update...

Four months post transplant and this little rascal is doing GREAT! Seems like she really turned a corner this past weekend. She is starting to bend her legs backward like she wants to crawl. She is reaching for EVERYTHING in sight and really trying to move from her belly front/back a great deal. I really feel like she will be crawling soon.  No doubt, this baby was born to boogie. 

She goes for physical therapy twice a week with Dr. Cary Malone for an hour each visit. We are scheduled early at 6:45 am so we can avoid as many germs as possible.  She has certainly come a VERY long way from the kiddo who could not even hold up her head after transplant. Now she wants to move!  She also goes to speech/feeding therapy once a week for an hour. She is making great improvements in her oral skills, but we monitor her nutrition carefully so it is primarily achieved by pediasure via GTube - 5 feedings a day. She puts food in her mouth but still isn't crazy about swallowing much. She does like the baby food "puff" cereal and has just begun putting them in her mouth all by herself like a big girl. She has a mouth full of teeth and she recently made a BIG step as she now puts her hands & toys in her mouth all the time.   

She gave me a bit of a scare last Friday by running a fever and acting sick for the first time since transplant. She kept retching like she wanted to vomit but she cannot because of her Fundoplication surgery. We rushed to the doctor and she was almost back to normal before we got there. :) I probably over reacted, but her lethargy and fever gave me quite a scare. :) She is completely fine now. 

Each morning she takes 11 medicines at 9am. Each night she takes 6 Meds at 9pm. (She has a few other Meds she takes as needed.) The meds are given thru her GTube in her belly.  I monitor her oxygen saturations with a pulse oximeter on her toe/foot. I also take her blood pressure and temperature several times a day.  

Tomorrow we will head to Lufkin to see our friends at Dr. Fidone's office so she can get her first Synagis injection of the season. This is an antibody injection that provides extra protection during the RSV/cold/flu season.  She will get the shots once a month through the month of March. 

Parson loves to be entertained by her big sister Darby. She likes making funny faces and has begun to laugh out laugh more often. She loves playing with matchbox cars.  She likes listening/dancing to The Commodores on the record player.  She loves riding outside in the "green machine".  She is saying "mama" and working on "dada" and "bye bye".  She loves to play and laugh on the bed with her Daddy.  She sleeps all through the night, but she doesn't like naps during the day.

We will head back to Texas Children's for a clinic check up with Dr. Mallory, lung transplant physician/Pulmonologist,  on October 28th.  

Thanks for keeping track of Parson's journey. We are so very thankful to be able to give such a great report.  

Pancakes for supper. 

Hands in the mouth. 

Riding in the "Green Machine" 

Best Buds ( mmmm - this scooter handle tastes yummy. ) 

Two thumbs up...

I started this whole blog thing sometime ago as a personal journal of sorts.  I have most often written it on my iPhone - with just two thumbs while doing something else (usually holding Parson, chasing Darby, cooking supper, washing clothes, or watching baseball). 

Since being home from the hospital, I have tried to swap over to the iPad or laptop to make things quicker or easier - but it just doesn't feel right. I have sat down and started a blog on the other device, but ultimately it is right back to the iPhone. I guess I just gotta admit it - it is something about the thumbs. You know that is what separates us from the other mammals huh?  We have 2 opposable thumbs and they don't. Na nana boo boo!  (So despite what Disney wants you to believe - you aren't gonna see any dogs running around with a blog -- for goodness sakes they don't have thumbs!) 

Anyhow, thinking about two thumbs this morning led me to thinking about how amazing our physical bodies are. Certainly one of God's most amazing creations. Crazy to think about the bones, the tendons, the muscles, the brain and how they all work together.  Of course I could not help but think about how amazing it is that Parson is able to breathe with someone else's donor lungs. WOW - Just absolutely blows me away.  It is also amazing that God made our bodies to heal themselves. Darby had a bike wreck over the weekend and is sporting a skinned up knee & elbow. But those boo boos are already well on their way to being healed before she is even ready to get back on her bike. 

I gotta admit, Plan B did a number on me this past 15 months. I was bumped & bruised, but I kinda feel like I am healing a little bit each day . Every day I continue to be amazed with the reminders of God's faithfullness that He sends my way. Whether it is a doctor or nurse calling to check on Parson. Or a person in town sporting their Parson Blue shirt. Or a anonymous card in the mail with money. Or an encouraging note or text from a friend. Or a petunia sprouting up thru a crack in the concrete in October.  God continues to show His faithfulness to me over and over again. Even though I get weary and tired in my daily struggle - He is faithful. Always. 

Whatever you do in word of deed, do it all in the name of The Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. - Colossians 3:17

I can't help but think of those that have carried me through some of the toughest days. You are all members of a great big body. Some people are arms, some are ears and some are His feet.  No matter the function or the job - you have done it for HIS glory. Trust me, I know you have bad days too. I know you get weary. I know you are rowing your boat as fast as you can. I know you struggle as parents and grandparents. I know you have sleepless nights and I know you stay up late worrying- but yet, you have done so much for my family and continue to lift us up. 

So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them... Romans 12:5-6. (There is that grace again, AMAZING grace. Even though we don't deserve it, even though we might take a day off, HE doesn't.) We all get the benefit of being members of one big 'ole body. 

I am so glad you are doing your part. Whether you are a "doer", a "listener", a "giver" or a "prayer" - Keep being faithful.  Keep sharing God's grace. Somebody like me needs YOU today.  Get out there and do something good this weekend. Give somebody a smile. Share a hug. Make some cupcakes. Send somebody a two-thumbed text and tell 'em you love 'em. Your day is coming and the body of Christ will be there for you - even if it is just one thumb at a time. 

Rock on...

10-2 is a very significant day for me. In my former life as a cycling enthusiast, I celebrated this day as the day Lance Armstrong was diagnosed and began his crusade to conquer cancer.  Ugh, Lance - it just seems so insignificant now. 

One year ago today I was thrust into a new significance for the date 10-2. I awoke to my cell phone ringing. It was the PICU nurse and she needed consent to give Parson platelets. She also said the surgery fellow was at the bedside to get consent to take Parson in for a lung biopsy later in the morning. I snatched on my clothes and rushed back to parson. On 10-2, we received the diagnosis that would ROCK our world. We learned that Parson had a genetic mutation (Filamin A deficiency) confirmed by a brain MRI that showed she had Periventricular Nodular Heterotopia. "I'm sorry, Can you repeat that? Better yet, can you write that down for us?"  I remember it just like it was yesterday. Then they wheeled her out to surgery. 

My mind has never spun out of control faster and my thumbs have never Googled faster.  We waited & searched. Searched & waited. Nothing.  There WAS nothing. It was rare. Parson was only the fifth little girl diagnosed at Texas Children's Hospital.  As Par returned from surgery, with more questions than answers, we began our 10-2 crusade. 

Lemme tell you friends. Nothing can absolutely ROCK your world like a major healthcare crisis. Everything changes. You think different. Your relationships are different. You pray different. You are never the same. 

Thank the good Lord I am not the same. The "10-2's" and "bruises" bring us closer to one another. Like the song says... They give us a common spirit. They break the vow that separates us. They make for better conversation.  They remind us that we are not alone in how we've been. We learn how it feels to grieve what "could have been". We learn how it feels to hurt deeper than we have ever hurt before. We learn how it feels to leave everything at that feet of Jesus. 

Whew. I could write on & on about this experience, but as I sit here thinking back over the last year (with my eyes leaking) I can say with confidence...

Sometimes you gotta walk the ROCKS to see the mountain view.  

"He alone is my ROCK and my salvation, my fortress where I cannot be shaken." - Psalm 62:6. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground in sinking sand. Looking back, I can see him leading with love through everything. He loves us way too much to let us be less than what we were destined to become. 

All because of a savior  All because of a donor. All because of a doctor. All because of a nurse. All because of people like YOU - 10-2 gives me hope to ROCK ON!!! 

Tis the Season

We ran to Lufkin yesterday to get flu shots and I did some thinkin' on the way home. Well really, the love bugs got me thinking. 

I really hate love bugs. I hate the smell. I hate how they linger & tickle you with no regards for your personal space. I hate the mess they leave on your car. Just no real redeeming quality of those bugs if you ask me. Did I mention that I hate the smell? Except, today they reminded me that in a small way, it signals that the seasons are about to change. Ahhhh -  Fall is coming soon. 

There is a dear, sweet lady in my church that refers to the seasons a lot. You know-- the seasons of life. Mrs. Winnie is great in her wisdom of scripture and life in general. Many years ago she encouraged me by talking about the "seasons of life" and I have gone back to it so many times since. 

Honestly, in thinking back over the past year, there are many many days I would love to forget. It was a tough one. Dare I say, the toughest one yet. But I keep reminding myself that this is only for a season. If we are honest with ourselves, we each have a preference of "sweatshirts & blue jeans" or "flip flops & tank tops". (Here in deep east Texas we only get to experience two seasons - sweatshirt season and flip flop season.)  Some of us are summer people and some of us are winter/fall folks. But if we really admit it- most of us are just glad to finally get a change every now and then. 

Those pesky love bugs had me all misty eyed looking back over the last year. 

The one season that scares the heck outta me is flu season.  I am completely consumed in my new job as the "keeper" of an immunocompromised transplant patient. I am living in a constant fear of "what if".  I go to bed  thinking about germs and I wake up in the night multiple times thinking about the flu. That really isn't like me. I am a "live & let live" kinda gal. You know, que sera. But lately I have been paralyzed by the fear of a sniffle, a cough, a fever or the flu. Ugh. 

One thing I have realized about being home is I quickly fell back into the same old bad habit of my controlling nature. Ordering every move, every decision, every step. How quickly I forgot that surrendering my control placed me in a much better place. A peaceful easy feeling.  He made much better decisions for me. He knows that He created me to not understand and plan for the future. He knows I am not capable of figuring out this thing called life. He even knows I am a hopeless control freak. For goodness sakes, He knows I worry about flu season. 

That's why he gave me love bugs.

That is why He have me seasons. 

That's why he gave me Ecclesiastes 3.

3 There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

I especially like the "time to search & time to give up" part in verse 6. 

OK, I hear ya. You are coming thru loud and clear. That sick feeling in my stomach is my own doing. I can't control the flu and I cannot add a single minute to this life by worrying. 

1 Peter 5:7 reminds me that God cares for me. He wants to carry my burdens and worries. 

Boy, am I hard headed. It hit me square between the eyes as I sang an old hymn to Parson last night at bedtime... "Oh, what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear- All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer."

(Insert Clue phone ringing here...  it's for me.) 

I AM FORFEITING PEACE. (Gulp.)

Fall is coming. 

There is a season for everything. It is time to give up.

Because I am redeemed, I can't let the love bugs get me down. 

Because I am redeemed, the seasons matter. 

Because I am redeemed, I CANNOT forfeit peace.