Life is not fair...

Life is not fair. I first learned that in my 7th grade math class when everyone was cheating and making A's and I was honestly struggling to earn my pitiful grade of a C.  7th grade hit me again with the "not fair's" when I didn't make jr. high cheerleader. (That is the first time I hadn't gotten something I REALLY worked for and wanted.) After the world started spinning again, I picked myself up, dusted myself off & started over again.  Seventh grade was my rookie season on the "B Team". Years later, now I know the "B" was for Plan B. 

I really struggle when bad things happen to good people. I question God when a tremendous 19 year old, full of life has a tragic accident and his earthly days come to an end way, way to soon. 

I struggle when a pediatric physical therapist (who has spent her life pouring her heart into getting kids in the PICU to "move") gets a diagnosis of ALS that will take away her ability to move & serve others. It hits me square between the eyes again -  Life isn't fair. 

I struggle when an amazing christian husband and wife who would make a fantastic mom & dad struggle to conceive a child.

I struggle when a doctor devotes his life to make the rest of us well and then receives a cancer diagnosis for himself. 

I struggle when I see Parkinson's and Alzheimer's slowly rob the very spirit of my loved one one day at a time.

I struggle when I see a nurse practitioner fight day in and day out to provide excellent, compassionate care to my child while quietly battling her own fight with MS. 

I struggle when I think about a spontaneous gene mutation that has altered every single day of my child's life. 

Life is just not fair. These are good people - Certainly some of the best. They have a heart of gold. Ugh. Why? It is the ultimate sucker punch. Simply Brokenhearted. 

The "prosperity gospel" would have me think that if I "believed enough" or "had enough faith" that these "not fair" things wouldn't be for me or any of the other good people. But I have learned over the past year of living in the middle of Plan B that prosperity isn't what I need - the word of God is what I need. It has nothing to do with being "good".  

When I begin to question God, I have to go back to some words I wrote in the front of my Bible many many years ago ... "Every single thing has been filtered through His hands."  He knew the diagnosis long before it was given.  He knew the exact number of days we would share with our loved ones here on this earth. He knew that there would be times where we would be broken hearted, worn, and have our very spirit crushed.  

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." - Romans 5:3-4

On the tough days like today, when my mind gets bogged down in the "Life's NOT fair" -  I go back and think about the story of Joseph in the Old Testament.  He had his fair share of bad days and understood that life was not fair. He went through terrible suffering.  He served time in prison for a crime he didn't even commit. And he was sold into slavery by his very own brothers. After the whole ordeal Joseph said in Genesis 50:20 : “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Ultimately God used Joseph and his experiences to save his own family and point many other folks to the savior. 

It is really easy to stand up and praise God when you have just hit the walk off home run.  That makes it so easy to do the "happy dance" in the dugout. We have all practiced that dance a million times in our dreams. But let's face it-- It isn't easy to be on the losing end of life. We don't dream about losing or getting beat over and over again. But I would venture to say that I have learned more about life and love during the losing seasons.

Some of the best things in life have come to me through the losing seasons. Because my child was so very sick, I drew nearer to God than I had ever been before. Let me tell you -- HE is the healer for the broken hearted. Redemption wins in the end.  He can give you rest. He will walk with you through the very roughest of days/nights. His grace is enough.  Especially on the days when you are on the losing end - hold tight to His promises.

I Corinthians 2:9 provides an amazing truth for days like today --“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” God has promised a time when there will be no more suffering, no more pain, no more crying, no more tears, and we will be reunited with HIM in perfect harmony. When we belong to Him -  this world is not our home, we are just passing through. Glory! 

Plan B is rough and uncomfortable. Fall into the arms of Jesus.  

He loves you with an unfailing love. He will give you hope.