Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Warrior / Worrier

Warrior. (Say it out loud.)
Worrier. (Say it out loud.)

I think they are kinda/sorta Homophones - sound alike but have different meanings.
I was having a conversation with Rodney and used the term above and he stopped me mid sentence and said "Are you saying warrior or worrier?"

Well, lately I am not really sure which one I am. I have my valiant warrior moments where I sit tall upon my stallion and ride bravely through battle, but can quickly change into worrier mode where I rush quickly in and out of the day's events with many thoughts of inadequacy. Crazy how quickly the transformation between the two can actually happen.

I learned a lot about psychology when studying for my masters degree in counseling. I learned about "stinking thinking", reframing, and lots of other terms that are used to describe the storm of emotions. Learning and applying it to others is one thing, but living it is another. What I do know is this - It is exhausting to move between the warrior and worrier modes.

I woke up this morning thinking it would be a great day for surgery. When we are sitting on "GO" in the waiting game, it puts the control freak like me on edge. I AM ready. AM I ready? Yes, I AM ready. Really? This sort of internal dialogue is what makes the super hero in me spin between warrior and worrier modes at lightening speed. Bring on the new lungs. What if her body rejects them? I CAN do this. CAN I do this?

“Be strong and courageous ... The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” - Deuteronomy 31:7-8

One thing is for sure - I may be lost in the emotions of today, spinning between warrior and worrier - but Parson hasn't wavered. Yesterday she cut a top tooth and she has been such a good sport in spite of having the teething yuckies. She is a WARRIOR! It is absolutely no wonder why so many of you are rooting for her. Soon she should breathe without struggle for the first time in her little life. So tomorrow, I will proudly pull on my PB TShirt warrior outfit, shake off the "stinkin thinkin" and celebrate Parson Blue Day. She is the best little super hero I know.

1 comment:

  1. God is using you and PDiddy as a blessing to all of us! You're such an inspiration! Love your SPIRIT! YOUR FAITH IN OUR GOD! Like i said in an earlier comment......just keep trusting the ENGINEER! HE WON'T STEER YOU WRONG! Thank you for being you! You're perfect, uplifting words! I look forward to reading your blog! MAY GOD CONTINUE TO KEEP YOU STRONG AND KEEP YOUR FAMILY TIGHTLY WRAPPED IN HIS LOVING AND HEALING ARMS!